The Devil

.. still I don't know what I did wrong.

weird panda dreams

Okay, what I'm going to write has nothing to do with pandas so don't get too freaking excited. :/ Anyway, yesterday, i.e. Sunday, June 18, 2006, I went to sleep at around 9:00 AM and I had the weirdest of dreams (probably not too weird but i've forgotten most of them). I will try to describe it as well as I can remember, this is how it goes...

Dream:

*vague memory* *vague memory* *vague memory*. I'm in my intermediate college it seems and I get a very little time off from college, so i decide to take a little vacation with a certain somebody (can't recall who it actually was in the dream) that I know who is going to america. So, I hop on the plane with that person and I go to america. During all this time, I seem very eager to try out stuff in the little time off that I have, stuff like experience the american way of life. (NO! I'm NOT like that in my real life :/). My phupho and her family seems to be living there, we go to her place, we being me and that person I'm with (still don't remember who). I make myself comfrotable at their house, freshen up, all escited to roam around and see stuff first hand, not like a tourist but by being a part of it. I stroll around trying to know the place, I seem very eager to explore the american culture, a lot of stuff is on my mind that I want to try, like go to the malls, meet people, do stuff that usually american people are shown doing ( and again, NO that's NOT what I want to do or think about in real life :/). So, what I do is that I get a job somewhere, just like that, just for the heck of it. *pause*

Ohkay, from here onwards, "I" and "me" will stand for "Jim Carrey". :|

*unpause* All of a sudden I'm Jim Carrey (yes, I seem to have turned into a JIM CARREY! who seems to be a "newly coverted" muslim and doesn't know much about the norms). *vague memory* *vague memory*. It seems like I (JIM CARREY!) am at a running stream outside of what looks like an outdoor mosque, I'm doing ablution, (ablutionizing as crofty just suggested a verb for ablution) when all of a sudden a bell rings and I (JIM CARREY!) start listening to the phone, I talk at a very loud volume and everyone starts staring at me. First, they're staring at me just because I'm talking in a loud volume and then after I hang up, they keep staring at me i.e. Jim Carrey, as if they can't believe a JIM CARREY to be sitting at a mosque and getting ready for prayers. I (JIM CARREY!) stare back at them and sort of get pissed off at the notion that the people around me don't exactly welcome me, but I want to learn and be good at it, however, at the same time, I also want to be left alone and not pointed and stared at. So, a little annoyed, I sort of shout at them. (Okay the shouting part sort of contained some witty remarks that might be inappropriate to mention because of the whole mosque scenario but the tone in all of that seemed merely humourous even bringing a smile at most of the faces around and genuinely depicting the fact that he i.e. I, i.e. Jim carrey really wanted to pray and wanted to be left alone to learn the norms of his/my newly found religion or something but I'll discard it anyway). Anyway, I shrug it off with a smile on my face and hand out a card to a "burqa clad" woman who is standing nearby me and I say to him, "here this is an invitation to the New AGHAN City in america". (Yes, all of you can make a weird face now :P).

Anyway, then it seems like a television ad. has started, an afghan family in america, dressed in really shabby clothes is driving really fast on a road with smiles and laughter on their faces, eager to get to the "new afghan city in america". These guys are the mom and dad of the family in a car, the two kids on bicycle and a luggage truck. Anyway, it's like a movie, the camera is running with them at first on a countryside road, then it overtakes them, turns and shows them from the front still running with them, then goes up taking an aerial view, then zooms in coming closer to the ground still taking a vertical shot as the car approaches a turn. One of the bicycles also takes that sharp turn at the same time with the luggage truck a little behind on the top right of the image and the bicycle a little less behind on the bottom left of the whole image. (Yes, make some more weird faces :P). Anyway, the camera goes still at that very moment - static and the next scene has this lush green football field with a white chalked sign in the middle of it (don't remember what but some insignia of the new afghan city that was on the invitation card as well). The family driving on the road that I just described, their vehicles take a leap or are flying and they land in the middle of the field and the view zooms out showing more people standing around marked areas in a small but fairly wide area. They applaud as "another" family has arrived. Then, I (JIM CARREY AGAIN! YES! haha) am standing at the centre edge of the field. The field seems to be higher than the rest of the ground, thus, making it a sort of platform infront of the rest of the ground. I (that's right, Jim again.. :P) announce for everyone to pick a spot to build their new homes at which "somebody I know" (don't remember who) comes and picks the centre spot of a block of marked plots right infront of the field and the rest of them take a spot elsewhere with each person standing at the centre of the marked chalked areas. Then, a whistle blows and everyone bolts down a peg in the ground at the centre spot where they are standing. Then somebody asks, what is that round area at the centre of everything and I (yes, you know who.. :/) reply that it's the town centre.

AND THEN MY ALARM RINGS at 1:12 pm and the sound of The Beatles - I'm Only Sleeping.mp3 comes pouring down my ears. i got up, turned it off and I stayed up wondering about what just happened. Anyway, I wanted to go back to bed to carry on with the dream but I was unsude whether the dream will come back to me if I went back to bed or not. It usually does, but it starts all over again and... aah well, anyway, that's another long story. heh

P.S. I'm a normal human earthanoid. Don't label me as a freak for all of what i just wrote. :|

oh?

livin lavida yoda, yada yada. :/

doomey

where are we? what the hell is going on? i have no idea. sigh

just an observation

Blogging has become more a source of "venting out" than whatever it's original purpose was, yes? no? or maybe this is what the real purpose of blogging was/is. I don't really know, but that's what people are doing. Maybe it's just a trend among the people i live with, because of the "harsh" environment we live in? heh heh, I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm just high. :D

i and i

10 minutes to go before the class. I don't know what I'm doing. Everday I feel left alone a bit more than the day before. People keep coming and they keep vanishing. I don't know why but it makes me feel like shit, as if it's my fault, maybe it is. I pretend I don't care, but it's more like, I don't WANT to care. I shrug it all away but everything does have an effect on me even though I try not to show it. I hope I stop caring sometime soon. Irony, the more i regret people coming and going, the easier they come. Did that sentence make sense just now? Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I don't like my tendency to befriend anybody and eevrybody. I'm not bragging or anything and neither am I TRYING to do this, it's just happening and I don't like it's outcome sometimes.

Anyway, I'm just so full of shit right now because all that i said just now, I don't mean anything of it to happen really. I still want to be able to make friends, they make me feel big and I thank God for the ones I have already, they have been nothing but great. I don't want to stop caring either, atleast not for all times, that would just turn me into an animal. But, yes, sometimes I do want to stop caring because some things are just meaningless and/or too hard to handle. Yes, it suggests that I tend to avoid problems, that's because I believe the easiest solution to some of the problems, not all, is to avoid them and not care. I don't know if it's the right thing to do though.

O well, I don't feel too good about myself right now, so I'm going to head out now.

God bless.

doop doop

welcome to the jungle, we got fun and games.. hah :/

right well i'm back in the jungle land. its rainy, cold, damp, boring and depressing over here, the last bit owing to my personal state of mind probably but i guess a sunny day could certainly help fix that a little bit. a change is what i need, a major drastic change, in everything and in myself. i don't see it coming by itself though so i'm trying to induce it somehow, don't know if it's working quite right at the moment though.

anyway, that foo junior who we (me and wattoo) asked to bring a pizza from Islamabad didn't show up.

-

ohkay i saved this shit as a draft like a week back and forgot to finish it. :/ anyway, i just got back from a run uphill. yep, i've started running with crofty for the past few days and my legs HURT. :S and yes, it's not rainy or depressing anymore, the sun's out and it was a nice weather today. and yes, it's a lot of "yes" i've said already so i'm going to stop saying yes now. :|

ohkay AND i installed the dreaded windows xp today, i wonder how long it's going to last. AND as i'm writing this, i'm installing WoW from Panga's pc, hee hee. :> :\ ugh i don't have anything to say and i hate this place and i can't seem to be able to remove my clashes and i want cake and i want to hurt somebody RIGHT NOW. :|

oh oh yeais we have a new born chussar between us now, Sonia Gandhi! she's the newly emerging star in chussi biz. all hail. \o/ we'll cover some of her creative chussis some other time.

oh ohhh yaaay yaaay amma ka phone! weee \o/ =D fudge, now i miss home. :\ mm :\ right, okay, anyway.. i'm gonna go sulk in the shower now. all you ducks can die for all that i care. -.-